Thanksgiving 2008

So over thanksgiving this year, Aviva and I spent nine very fast days in California with my parents, her parents and a variety of other family, related by both blood and friendship. Overall trip was an incredible experience, leaving me profoundly grateful for all of the incredible friendships and family that are surrounding Aviva and myself. I felt like I connected much more deeply with her parents, and I discovered that the feeling that you not only love your in-laws but really, really enjoy hanging out with them is fantastic. I connected and reconnected with so many wonderful friends, spent some time getting to know my stepmothers family better and generally just lapped up the love and warmth ... it was so wonderful to be with so many people who I love so much who all love me back.

Ostensibly, the purpose of the trip was thanksgiving and an engagement party the following weekend, but we managed to pack in much, much more. The major theme of the week turned out to be eating ... we are Jewish, so this is not a huge surprise. While in the Bay Area we ate at both Gary Danko and the French Laundry, the latter of which was an amazing, almost transcendant experience ... I go on about it at some length in a separate post. Thanksgiving dinner was also fabulous, although my father woke me up at 530 am to cook the turkey, which is only forgivable because the turkey turned out fabulously. Everyone commented that it was so juicy and asked how we made it, when I commented that I had been up basting it for 12 hours they looked a bit more circumspect ... still, cooking with my dad was great, as always, I think we made the best gravy ever this year. And I also really enjoyed spending time with my stepmothers family and bringing them to together with my new family, it was generally a great night all around.

Other than eat we met with my friend Lisa, who also happens to be the wonderful Rabbi who is officiating our wedding (admittedly meeting her did involve breakfast at Hobees ... but how can you be in the Bay Area and not eat there at least once). We went to Gleim's jewelers to get our wedding bands made, and as always, they were wonderful with us. We introduced Aviva and her wonderful parents to all my dear friends and family in the Bay area, at the engagement party, thanksgiving and a number of other spontaneous gatherings during the week. Aviva and Tanya went to a baby shower for one of my best friends newborn sons, Ethan, while I got together with my best friends and hung out with them and the dads. We also visited my mothers grave with my father, Tanya and Bucky, which turned out to be a moving and wonderful experience. I have not been there since we unveiled the grave nine years ago, and I often say that my mom is not really there so its not really a place of any significance ... but it is, and going there with my dad and my parents-in-law and the woman I love was really, really significant.

And aside from all of these other things, I somehow found some time to get in some walking with my father.

We also took some day trips, spending a day wine tasting in Napa, with visits to the Groth, Plumpjack, SilverOak and Turnbull wineries. All four were very good, but for Aviva and I, Plumpjack, a relatively new winery started by SF mayor Gavin Newsom and his friends, was by far the best. I will say that the wines from Groth, which were relatively disappointing that day, turned out to be much, much better with a little bit of oxidation. And the day before leaving, we took Avivas parents to Muir Woods for a taste of the redwoods, the giant trees that live only on the west coast of the US. This trip was particularly sweet because on the way back to the peninsula, we stopped at the Golden Gate National Recreation area for some of the best views of the Golden Gate bridge I have ever had.

The trip flew by, as everyday was packed and wonderful, but as I said above, this trip was more than just fun, it was a moving, growing, wonderful, mush, mush, mush ... really, it was an amazing experience and it left me profoundly thankful for my life.

Engagement Party

Last weekend, Aviva and I went down to her parents house in Cherry Hill for the first of what may be several engagement parties. We weren't going to have one, but once we realized that this was a great way to get our families together and once that thought came up the idea just seemed better and better. Plus we would get to spend time with Dylan, Aviva's adorable nephew, something that always gives us both a smile.

Tanya and Bucky, Aviva's parents, were incredibly generous and offered to let us bring everyone together at their house. After a bit of negotiation about the date, we decided that the end of May, exactly 1 year before our wedding, was a great time to get together.

The whole weekend was fantastic. We started on Friday night, meeting my Aunt Debbie at the Met for a lecture by Oliver Sacks called the Minds' Eye. It was great, kind of a "fireside chat" between Dr. Sacks and some interviewer from NPR ... if you can call a conversation on a stage in the Met in front of a large crowd a chat. They discussed what it was like for Dr. Sacks to have lost his stereo vision due to a tumor in his left eye, it was really fascinating ... more so because Aviva has recently taken several classes on vision at Ferkauf and was able to answer many of our questions afterwards.

We dropped Debbie off downtown and headed back to Cherry Hill, arriving late and then getting up early the next day. My dad and Peg had flown in from California because they are awesome and we spent the day hanging out. Aviva and Peg went wedding accessory shopping while my dad and I just kind of hung out at the house, and then everyone got together for a family dinner in the evening ... Aviva's mom Tanya made breast of veal, it was delicious, she is such an excellent chef ... and everyone had a wonderful time. I even got a picture of Papa Stranger smiling, trust me, a rarity. But the meal was very heavy and soon after such a rich dinner everyone was tired and it was quickly called a night, though I stayed up to wait for my friends Scott and Michele who were coming in from DC. they arrived quite late, around midnight, with their daughter Calla, and Scott and I walked Calla around the block until around 130 am when she fell asleep.

I was really excited about Sunday and did not sleep all that well, and when we got up around 0830 the caterers were already getting set up, so Scott, Michele, Aviva and I took Calla and Aviva's nephew Dylan to a nearby park for a while. Watching the kids run around on the structure, play on the swings and coast down the slides was great. After a good amount of play, we got back to Aviva's parents place and changed quickly. Aviva got into a gorgeous yellow dress (which Laurie would later show up mimicking), and I put on a rumpled green short sleeve button up. When we came downstairs, I walked into the living room to say hello to Charlotte, Aviva's grandmother, and this conversation occurred,

Charlotte, "Are you going to change?"

PJ, "I already did."

Charlotte, "But don't you want to look at least a little nice, so that you can match Aviva?"

Variants of this conversation were repeated by various people throughout the day ... when my cousin Amanda came in she said, "I told Alex [her husband] that you would be wearing shorts, but I thought you might at least iron your shirt." It was my party (partially at least) and I figured I could wear what I wanted to, but I have to admit, the ladies looked much nicer than I did :)

The day was incredible. People I love just kept showing up, family fromNew York, and friends and parents, it was so awesome. The party was catered and the food was great, but the real pleasure was the company. Dave and Em were in town from California, my aunts, uncles and cousins from New York, my parents ... To see all these people who I care about so much in the same place, interacting with each other, talking and laughing and enjoying themselves together, it was amazing. And to see them all interacting with Aviva's family, my new family, well ... the joy of it was beyond words. As far as I can tell, everyone had an absolute blast. It was so much fun, talking with everyone ... almost every time I turned around, there was someone else to talk with who I couldn't wait to chat with.I know Aviva did, and that I did as well.

The party was catered, and the food was delicious. Bagels and all sorts of smoked fish, veggies, wraps, omelette bar and fabulous deserts ... everyone loved it. There had been minor issues with the drinks, as the kosher catering company required a special kind of wine (boiled grapes, mulvushel wine, quite new for me), but other than the wine the booze was also excellent. Bucky outdid himself, as usual, and quite a number of excellent scotches, tequilas, rums and other drinks were had downstairs at the bar in the basement. And the service was excellent, even a bit too excellent, as the head caterer followed me around all day picking up my plates and glasses and refilling them as soon as I put them down, a tad creepy ...

The day seemed to end almost as soon as it started. As people started to drift out, and the crowd thinned down, Aviva and I ended up sitting in the backyard with Dave, Em, and a bunch of Aviva's friends. After a while, as people started to fade out, Em took off and I drove Dave back to the trains station so he could get back to DC. When I got back to Aviva's most everyone was gone, so Aviva and I said our goodbyes, loaded up the car and headed back to New York.

Fantastic weekend.